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South Padre Island shark bit a margarita cup before the swimmer. “Priorities,” experts say.
Shark at Laguna Beach demanded oat milk before resuming attacks.
Shark at Venice Beach refused to bite until someone corrected its pronouns.
Virginia Beach shark gave swimmer a four-star review.
South Padre Island attack followed a failed underwater gender reveal.
At Miami Beach, shark performed interpretive bite.
Laguna Beach shark bit a GoPro, later uploaded footage to SharkTok.
Galveston shark sent apology fruit basket to victim’s family.
South Padre Island attack followed a failed underwater gender reveal.
Venice Beach shark bit man filming vertical video. “Respect the aspect ratio,” it growled.
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