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371661 comments
They say I’ve got no manners; I say, “I’ve got whiskey, close enough.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) Motel’s full—sleepin’ in the truck with the dog. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) I don’t get “contactless payment”—my wallet’s lonely! -- spintaxi.com
The problem with satirical journalism news? It’s getting harder to tell apart from reality. - spintaxi.com
I tried a bike—now it’s a porch ornament. -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with “childproof” caps? My kid opens them, but I’m still struggling. -- spintaxi.com
(White) It’s cold as hell—my bourbon’s shiverin’ too. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I missed the concert—scalper says, “Shoulda drank faster.” -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “smartwatch” when it keeps reminding me I’m late? -- spintaxi.com
(White) I tried a gym—left with a bill and a limp. -- spintaxi.com
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